My own unintelligent conclusion.

Today, in a nutshell, I "accidentally" found out that some girls at work were talking about myself being homo by saying "He is so gay". Isn't it awesome to be a system administrator some times?

Anyway, to give you some background, this is Japan. The idea of homosexuals is here and present. There are some "out" people on TV shows that you can see every day. But at the same time, it's so ignored and it's as if people do not wanna talk about it. Usually, the idea of it is not treated nicely. Some people get disgusted and say "unnatural". People automatically assume you should get married at some point in your life. But it's quite different from what you can see in the American/European countries. Because it's not stronglly recognized (but it's ignored), there is no supporting law for gay people but we are not prohibited, either :) It's weird.

Because of that, even though I am almost out to my friends and family, I am not out at work because I do not need any unncessary interferance. But I am not in the closet, either. I don't cover up with a fake girlfriend story or anything. When they ask me about my date or whatever, I would just say "this person" or "the person I am seeing" usually because I don't like telling a lie. However, it's none of their business. Recently, I have been hanging out with close co-workers after work for drinking because I like it. I guess that gave them a clue. I am not freaked out about them finding out that I am gay. I am very sad that the person in the same department I thoguht who was friendly to me and understanding talked about me behind my back with a disgusted tone. It's totally unfortunate but I believe it's a natural reaction, I would say. Yes, I was very sad when I found out about this.

I e-mailed about this to my close homo friends and they have been very supportive. One of the best friends was like "I hate those majority people who judge some things they cannot understand. You should bring them to me and let me yell at them". That's very sweet of him. But I won't do that. :) I was thinking what I should do about this. Then, it hit me. I do my work great (because I got a great incentive this year so they are happy with what I do). Me being homo shouldn't be associated with what I do at work. If they are disgusted by the idea of me being gay, that's their problem. I don't talk about sexy hunky guys I dream about to them. I was deabating earlier whether I should come out to them but given the fact that people do not like the idea of gay in general, I shouldn't create new problems. If they ask me whether I am gay, I might as well say "Well, it's none of your business and I would like to withhold that information" even though it totally means I am homo. Luckily, I work for this American company which employs "Zero means zero" policy that any harassement is strictly prohibited and I am supposed to be protected by that policy even though Japan is not really mature to the idea of gay.

Sorry I kept mumbling but I should say I realized that I am here in Tokyo, Japan even though everything seems to be so accepting and advanced. This is the very behind part. I am not an activist or anything but I thought this was very unfortunate. However, I don't feel uncomfortable extremely for some reason. The answer to this whole thing is to come up with the best resolution that you can think of by yourself. Because this is about you. Not others. So it's the best idea in my pesonal opinion to feel comfortable with how I deal with them and how I am exposed to this unfair corporate world :) yes, this could be quite different from what you are used to in your country but I believe this is the best way for me to deal with this thing :) Anyway, sorry that I didn't write this very well but I failed English 101 in college so you will have to excuse me. I wish you a fantastic weekend! Be good!