I think I saw a picture of an outdoor, open air urinal station placed conspicuously in the middle of a sidewalk somewhere in Amsterdam (maybe). I believe it was a triad of urinals facing each other and the only walls were the ones blocking the other two urinals. Talk about another reason not to move to The Netherlands. [Or was that an art installation?] I wasn't going to comment about you being "shallow" but you have every right to feel the way you do - it is YOUR life. Maybe your ex just came over the way he did was to show you how serious he was in getting back together with you. And MAYBE the true "shallowness" was your not telling him the real reason for not wanting to be with him. I'm not trying to scold you - just a thought.
Remember... it's never blue whenever we read you! Lane

Sounds like a difficult situation, Shigeki. I have to say that i would probably do the same if I was in your shoes.

T. Kevin

Shallow or not, it's your decision, and if you can't handle it, then it's better to turn him down up front, then to lead him on.

You did the right thing.

The entry seemed shortchanged, Shigeki. How about your date and finding a new apartment? That's quite a sensitive issue you had with your ex, but I don't see anyone being shallow... You've been very considerate, if not for him, for yourself. Gotta love yourself first.

What your EX did was a very aggressively insensitive thing to do. He should not have done that.

I am also in agreement with what others have already said -- you make your decisions for what reasons are right for you. That doesn't make you shallow that indicates you understand what is good for you. You could act against that but it would just arise in different ways to destroy the relationship anyway, I believe.

And, frankly, I think you showed what a nice person you are for letting the unannounced EX stay in your apartment. I'm not so sure I would have done the same, actually.

Sorry your Monday sucks.

Shallow or not. it's your decision! We all live once and off course decisions like this sucks but heh - it's your life! So take it easy....there are 4 days to go! :-) You have a good week ahead.

Jeezus Shigeki, I gotta' go with Steven on this one. 6000 freakin' miles!!! What was the dude thinking? I hate to say this but it sounds like desperation. Putting you on the spot like that was extremely selfish and unfair. Shallow....... I don't f**king think so!! I think you handled the situation like the true gentleman you are.

Hi Lane,

I guess those urinals are not that common anymore in Amsterdam. I saw some while I lived there but they are being removed due to "public health" matter. :-) But their urinals are so innovative. I mean a pee shy guy could never pee there. Well, that's not totally true but close enough. :-) The ex thing, we talked, talked, and talked. I hope he got it. He should get it by now. Really. Thanks for your input! You have a great day!

Hi T.Kevin,

Right. It wasn't an easy situation for sure. I think I can be a good nurse when things go bad. I mean it was really difficult. I don't think I can go through that again.... Anyway... You have a great day!

Hi Hanuman,

Thanks for your feedback, Hanuman. I don't think I could pretend to be a nice guy anymore... The real deal breaker for me was that. So ... If he lived in Tokyo, the decision might have come out differently. Really.. but.... You have a great day!

Hi Mark,

Well, I listed four but couldn't write all as I always keep my maximum limit for my post. :-) Sorry. well, my date? that's a tricky thingy. But I will share it on a different day. I am still looking for a more fabulous apartment but haven't had luck yet... Thanks for your insight. It made me feel better. :-) You have a great day!

Hi Steven,

Yup, he was insane. I think he was under the influence of some new medication he's been taking? I don't know. But I was totally shocked when I saw him. My apartment used to be "ours" when we were together so you know.... He paid for a half of two year lease while he left when it was the fourth month. So I thought I had to... Anyway, you have a great day!

Hi Ian,

Yup, I thought it very carefully and that is what I came up with. There are 3 and a quarter more days to go for me. :-) Yay. I hope you are enjoying your time there! You have a great day!

Hi Maggie,

Yeah, it was insane. He was insane. I have no idea what he was thinking. I mean I didn't know he could be that drama queen. I am not sure if I am the true gentleman but I tried to act as much lady as possible. :-) oh well, the worst is over. So I am okay. :-) you have a great day! (By the way, you are allowed to use "fuck" here on this blog unless it's meant to attack me. :-) )

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