February 2006 Archives

Flowers of plum trees finally came into bloom. They are usually in full bloom in early February but since it's been colder this winter, they were asleep longer, I assume. By the way, I am sure you have some daily routines you do such as showering, brushing teeth, hand job, and such. I too do daily morning routines every morning. I am sure I'd bore you to death if I list every single task of mine, and some of them are too personal to share. (e.g. Taking a shower after the morning jogging and jerking myself off while I am at it.) Anyway, one of the things I do every morning must be pretty weird. I am aware it's weird. But I can't help stop doing that. I am not sure whether this is true or not. I might be too dumb to believe it. I was told that in one morning, all of the sudden, in your 30s, your pillow starts to smell like a middle aged stinky guy. Like oily, non-shaved, stinky smells. Don't take this the wrong way. I am alright to be a middle aged guy. I will be without any doubt. I just don't wanna be a smelly middle aged guy who smells funny. There is the difference there. :-) I turned 30 five months ago, and ever since then, I get up and sniff my pillow and make sure I don't smell like a middle aged stinky guy. I wonder if my clock is ticking and I have no idea what I'd do after I smell like that. I am sure there are some solutions for it. I am keeping my fingers crossed. Until then, I keep sniffing my pillow when I get up... Alright, there I said. My confession for today. Yeah, I am a weirdo. Thank god, I am single. :-) I hope you have a great Tuesday!

I feel extremely languid just like the person who just finished having sex and lighting a cigarette while the lady next to him goes "I love you. It was so great. Tell me you love me." but this guy only keeps smoking and gets irritated by the post-sex intimacy. He's got what he wanted and doesn't need her anymore. He says Fudge off for sure in his heart. Yeah, I have that feeling in me today even though I haven't gotten laid for a very long time. (Do I sound pathetic? well, it's the truth) I feel completely unmotivated and feel like not caring about anything. Okay, that's exaggerating a little bit. FYI, I am not suffering from depression or anything. But you get the idea how I feel today. If you happen to care why... it's because Torino Olympic games ended... It wasn't the greatest Olympic for Japan without any doubt but I enjoyed watching games. Only if I could have gone there instead of dealing with stupid projects at work. On my lunch break, I bought a little book The naughty doctor mentioned on his blog awhile back to fulfill my empty day with something to look forward to. As you already know, I cannot live without vacations. I usually take 4 vacations a year. I am not sure when I can get one next but I'd like to be hopeful for something that hasn't happened to me yet. On a different note, I shaved my beard today. I feel too revealing. Anyway, nothing much special to blog about for today but I thought I'd just scribble a little bit. I wish you a pleasant week! I hope you are not as empty as I am. :-)

Japan has been struggling in the Olympic games this time. No medal until today... Shizuka Arakawa won a gold medal for Ladies Figure Skating today. I, of course, watched her performance live. It was brilliant and beautiful. I was very happy for her. However, I was surprised and saddened how CNN/ BBC / USAToday wrote the article about the competition. Those editors, please, it's not because the other two skaters screwed up. She won the gold medal BECAUSE she was the best and skated beautifully! Period. I can't believe how media differs depending on the country where they are. Or am I being a drama queen again? Anyway, it's been a great two week run. Torino Olympic Games will end soon. I like winter Olympic games better than summer's. By the way, did I tell you I don't own a TV back at home but I watched many games during these two weeks? Well, it's crazy but I had two homes for the first week. One is my usual one. The other was my parents'. But I just don't like to be yelled at by my mother so I booked a hotel room for this week to watch Olympic games instead of staying at my parents'. I know. Call me crazy but that hotel is closer to work and it's got a lot of channels. :-) Some nights, I stayed in the room all night long. Some other nights, I stayed at my home. This is my favorite hotel in Tokyo, anyway. If I bought a TV at home, I am sure I wouldn't get out of my place at all. Anyway, it's been tiring/exciting/wonderful two weeks for me. I really enjoyed these special weeks. But I would have enjoyed them more if I went to Torino... huh... Stupid projects at work!!! I wish you a great weekend and I will probably blog tomorrow if there is anything new to share. Have a fantabulous weekend!

Did you know that if you cannot keep your either of eye open for 10 seconds without blinking, you might be suffering from dry eye syndrome? Staring at porn a computer display for a long time could be one of the causes. Since my job is to deal with computers a.k.a. very evil devices but fantabulous, I thought I might have that when my eyes really hurt earlier this afternoon. It was painful even.

When I got out of my office for lunch, my supervisor thought I looked like the person who just cried a lot after watching a romantic movie. I went to a drug store to pick up eye drops exclusively for dry eye syndrome. But that didn't help me. That's weird. So I went to see an ophthalmologist after cancelling the important meeting I set up. My eyes are more important than mobile access solution for sales representatives.... What if I go blind???? This doctor told me with a sigh or two..... "You need to get your hair cut. Some of your hair is poking your eye balls.... I hope he didn't write that down on my carte.... I've been letting my hair grow longer than usual.... I didn't know I was such a drama queen. I hope I am not... I am not gonna shave it off. You see I want to enjoy my hair while I have it. Who knows. I might loose it when I am 40. :-) Please take good care of your eyes. Have a fantabulous Thursday!
P.S. oh, today is one year anniversary after I got out of the longest relationship. I should have bought a cake or something....

I was going to do the voice blog as I usually do once a month but realized my voice recorder's software was installed on the ruined VAIO...oh well... It was unusually warm today. 16 degrees celsius 60 degsF this afternoon. Even though it's going to be colder in Tokyo this week, I can feel spring is around the corner. Spring flowers are about to bloom. The sunlight is brighter. It's getting warmer. Yay. Spring is a happy time because I feel the tropical flower blooming in my head. I don't know why but I automatically , SUBTLY though, smile for no apparent reason in spring. I am sure I am a freak.... This photo isn't pretty but it was the only photo I took in the locker room... For the very first time this year, I wore a tank top at the gym. I am sure nobody looked at me but I thought i was too revealing as I used to wear a long sleeved t-shirt for workout until yesterday. It was like getting pulled up onto the stage of Cirque Du Soleil In Las Vegas all of the sudden in front of the audience (Which happened to me once....). I was uncomfy because I was used to covering up in winter. But somehow, I was oddly excited about too reavealing part at the same time. This weird feeling is also a proof it's Spring as clothes are getting lighter. :-) Okay, I don't know if there is any point to make on this entry, but the early spring is always a weird time for me. Happy Spring! .... almost. :-) (If you happen to be in the Southern Hemisphere, happy Autumn!)

I know this looks like Tofu but this is not Tofu. I had a panna cotta (italian pudding) for dessert on my lunch break today. It was fantabulous. I liked it. This was the first lunch I have ever had this month. I went to lunch with a cute guy in Finance department. I was happy. :-)
1. Let's just say in the elevator, when I smell something unpleasant all of the sudden, I firstly suspect myself. I get relieved to be sure it is not me. Someone smelly was near by. Not that I am smelly. I shower very well but I always suspect myself first by sniffing my shoulder....

2.

"I will call you" without getting the phone number at the end of the date means "good bye forever"..... "You got your hair cut! " doesn't necessarily mean you are pretty. It just means I noticed a little thing straight guys usually don't. It's like giving myself credit for noticing it. That's it, Lady in Legal department.

3.

I had a discussion at work today. Discussing some issue at work. This guy illustrated negative points about our team. But what he was saying was very incosistent and he is dumb. I hate him.. Usually, I am quiet and act pretty. But today, I was willing to pick fight. So I told him what was inconsistent with what he said. I even pointed out how weak his supporting opinions were. He was defeated. God, I love this feeling after defeating someone badly in a debate. It's almost as good as shooting my load, really. But I barely do it though. Okay, back to act pretty and graceful :-)

Happy a peaceful Tuesday, everyone! Peace!

I am not sure if I can explain this well in English but I will try. Internet is awesome. You already know that. You can look up anything. However, there is too much information in this world due to this. Do you sometimes run into "Where am I? What was I doing?" syndrome because of the Internet? I frequently do. I start to read one article and decide to read the second one on a different page after reading the first one. I finish reading the first article without problems but while reading it, some words or phrases in the first article interest me. So I research on them instead of reading the second one. While reading about the words I was interested in, I get e-mail from a friend. I rapidly finish reading the info I became interested in and retrieve the e-mail I received. Then, in that e-mail message, there are some words I don't understand so I google them. Sometimes, on a way to get to the results of the words I was going to look for, I get distracted by a half naked guy with great pecs on the side, and I want to know more about this gorgeous guy so I google about him. By the time I come to this point, I totally forget what I was going to do originally after reading the very first article. Then, I ask myself "Okay, where was I? What was I doing?". Even if I get back to the point where I was at, I already loose interest in reading the second article. I unconsciously think the half naked gorgeous guy is now more important than citric acid cycle... ....and I move onto the article about how to get great pecs. Internet is great anyway... Happy Internet Surfing w/o too much distraction. (^0^)V

So I had a job interview today even though it was Saturday. It's surprising to have a job interview on a weekend. Anyway, it doesn't hurt that I start looking for a new job as I am thinking of quitting the current one by the end of August at the latest. Since I usually work for a company that is spread worldwide, I get interviewed both in Japanese and English. They always test my English speaking skills. But it occurred to me today that the way I act and say things in English is a little different from what I usually do in japanese. I think a language does that. You've heard me speaking in Japanese and in English but this doesn't tell you much. For example, my voice goes an octave higher when I speak French because I get too nervous. Okay, this doesn't help, either.... When I speak Japanese during the interview, I try to be humble and try not to express my feelings much as it's a Japanese way to go. When I speak English during the interview, I try to say what I am good at and what I am willing to do. This cannot be said in a Japanese interview. I was wondering if my personality differs depending on the language I speak.... My ex once told me that I am very direct and manly when I speak English but I am kind and humble when I speak Japanese.... Should I go see a doctor about this? This is my finding for today.... The interview went pretty well. The Japanese interviewer was kinda hot. But the English one wasn't... huh... and I guess they didn't hate me. You have a fabulous weekend!

I have been super busy lately... I missed another post yesterday.... damn. Anyway, when I was doing troubleshooting at work on behalf of a geek who is on vacation, I came up with this idea. Because I hate dealing with network stuff at work as it's not my job... I'd love to try this but I shouldn't.... It's been a while since I created a flash presenation last time. This is not a brilliant one but I hope you enjoy some computer "geekiness". Happy weekend! Don't work hard!

I stayed up last night again to watch Figure Skating/ Speed Skating... I really should have gone to Torino.... By the way, I don't know why Japanese girls are so ga-ga-ing about Johnny Weir... He looks too pale. Daisuke Takahashi is way cuter IMHO. Anyway, I was told last week to go to New York City for the 2 week training. Mind-numbing training for 2 weeks? NO! This is the photo of the map I usually take whenever I go there. Earlier this week, my flight got cancelled due to massive snow in NYC. I was actually thankful for that. My demanding boss of course told me to get the flight next day. Now, I had to use all my power not to go to NYC. It's not because I hate NYC. I actually like it there. But it's not a great time of the year unfortunately. I've got things to do here in this office. More importantly, all the olympic games would be held during business hours and I would miss them all during the business trip if I went there. I'd rather drag a sleep-deprived body. Ergo, I had to come up with a good reason not to go. Being sick wasn't a great idea. It's telling a lie. I had to come up with something creative. I decided to "wash my passport mistakenly" as it will be expired next month. It would take 10 days to renew the passport. So I made an emergency call to my boss and said "Oh Lord, I must have been really drunk. I did laundry and realized my passport was in my pants." It actually got destroyed real good. My boss told me it would be okay not to go to NYC. Yay. But I was told to go to Boston next month.... I'd have to come up with another creative excuse... I mean a biz trip is always tiring... Anyway, have a fantastic hump day.

This is not a nice title to use on this happy day. Today, I wanted to cry so hard. It's not because "Oh, Jesus, this is the first boyfriend-less year in the last 10 years on St Valentine's day" I am so fine to be single. No, I am not gonna shoot any ridiculously happy looking couples on this particular day. I realized whenever I do something nice to someone, something horrible happens to me. 2 years ago in Stockholm, two gentlemen from Japan were lost and didn't know how to get to their hotel from the airport. Coincidentally, I was going to the same hotel. So I went there with them and even translated every single thing of what they wanted to say at the front desk. On the same day, I got mugged.... my VAIO got stolen, too... 1 year ago, I helped a sick woman who passed out at the station and called an ambulance. On the very same day, I broke my thumb.. There are more I could list but I should stop before I bore you to death. Though, today, I was asked by this person to help his niece in MA, U.S.A. for her project at school. She is a fourth grader and wanted information about Tokyo so I did the best for her project. It was 2 page long. In the afternoon, I accidentally spilled a half bottle of water onto my 2 year old VAIO which I bought as a replacement of the stolen one... Of course, it never started .... It's all my fault... but .... My pretty VAIO laptop.... My geeky valentine (a.k.a. my VAIO), stay little valentine stay... Obviously, it didn't. I literally sang it by watching the soaked VAIO. I am not going to do anything nice to someone for awhile... On the bright side, I now have an excuse to buy a new laptop. :) I wish you a happy Valentine's day for me though.

I took a photo of the area I work in this moring as I had to come here at 5!!! It was a beautiful morning.
1. This is why I wanted to take a two week vacation this month so I didn't have to struggle from time differences. I was going to go there to see the games live but I am stuck here. I sleep less these days... I hear Torino is a great city for shopping also... Dolce & Gabbana.....huh... I really wanted to go to Torino. Italian sausage....

2.	Whenever I go to Yoga Class at the gym, It's inevitable I get a spot right behind this regular Yoga guy. He always wears short pants. No, I don't get to see his "thing" but his butt is incrediblely tight and cute. Slight peeking at his undies... No, I am not deviant. I am so sure many of you'd do the same if you were in the same class.
3.	While I was doing some data analysis at work, I accidentaly ran into one computer with naughty web access logs. So I felt like messing this user and created a script (an easier version of programming) like this. I am sure he is sweating right now. I am so going to hell. In my defense, I only did it once.
4.	I've been singing "Fly me to the Moon" all day long today. It's the full moon night! Singing this particular song makes me happier in this depressing office. I am so single but I really am happy. okay, I should stop saying it as I may sound I am trying to be.....

Have a happy full moon night! Locate the moon tonight if it's clear. It's beautiful!

I got up this morning and realized that I couldn't really shake off the stress this total freaking idiot gave me at work last night. I went to the batting cage last night and it did make me feel good a little bit but it didn't help me much. So I ran 10 kilometers like i usually do this morning. Usually, it should make me feel better but it didn't. So I decided to go something extreme. Skydiving. I've done it a lot but I don't do it frequently as it's pricey. I did it twice today though. The first dive wasn't great. Well, diving part was alright but the strap around my crotch got my balls badly.... when the parachute opened, the whole body weight almost squished my balls. I am glad I am gay coz I wouldn't have to be concerned about male sterility. The second dive indeed helped me. The diving part was fantastic. But the fiasco was that I couldn't open the main parachute when I reached the altitude where I was supposed to open it. It didn't work.... I panicked. I was instructed to use the backup parachute and I knew how to do it. But I had never done that before. After the third attempt, the main parachute successfully opened. Embarrassingly, I peed a little bit. At this point, I so forgot the stress I had and was thankful I was still alive. I am not allowed to, but I took a photo while paragliding. My hands were shaking.... huh... After landing, I asked my instructor to tell me how to open the secondary parachute again for double-check....but doing it for real is completely different from knowing it.... Whew. Would I go skidiving again? Hell ya. :-) Thanks, Skydiving. I am so over the stress I got! yay. I strongly hope almost dying isn't the only way for me to blow off the stress though... You have a SAFE weekend!

I had to go to my parents' on my lunch break to feed their dog as they were out of town. Whenever I visit their home. She basically ignores me. But when I was about to feed her, she wagged her tail.... bastard. I took a photo of the flower of the spring there. Stock. Yup, spring is on its way. :) Anyway... talking about my work in my private life turns me off. Worse than wearing socks on during sex. But it's been a stressful week. It's damn easy to say no to something not great. But if you disagree on something, it's better to propose a solution to fix the problem instead of saying no only in my opinion. I did act cool even though my blood was boiling with anger as this guy was a total idiot. I went to the batting cage place to bat . When I am stressed and am ready to kill someone, I usually go there and bat. I may shout out loud every once in a while... Yeah, I do look like a complete mad man. But it's a great way to blow off the corporate unreasonable stress. But I took the visitor from Europe out with me tonight. He saw me going really mad. I am certain I freaked him out even though he told me "no". The bonus point on this worst day of the week was he told me he had never bat before. So I let him in the cage and taught him how to bat while I was standing behind and touched here and there on his Czech bod. No, I didn't molest him. I had to touch him as I had to make sure he was in the best form .... to bat. That was a great moment. Of course, he sucked.... I mean, sucked at batting. But I am glad I introduced something he had never played before. And I am very glad I didn't have to kill anybody today:) Only if I were good at tennis and he had never played tennis before, I could have done something more touchy.... okay, I am a pervert.... Don't kill somebody if you are really mad. Go batting or something refreshing. :) Have a fantabulous weekend!

I am posting this from the train. WIN card rocks!!! I think it was the first time ever I missed blogging on a weekday.... I was super busy yesterday... ugh.... Anyway, I have a visitor from Europe. He is a security leader over there. Since I work in the same field, we got along very well. Besides, he is very cute. I am SO going to Czech next time... We had lunch and the topic was all about Internet. That was damn good geeky lunch. Then, it hit me. I already mentioned this but I cannot live without internet. Am I addicted to it? I probably am. But if I lost an internet connection, I wouldn't slash my wrist. Somehow, I had three unusual episodes through my blog in one week recently. No details, here. But let's just say I was a little surprised to find out some are not happy with me.I am guessing anonymity plays the major role. Meaning, some of us may not act on internet like they usually do in their real lives. Like I never say something filthy at work or to friends even if I do that at a filthy cruising place.... Unfortunatley(?), since close friends of mine keep visiting, I cannot be something I am not here on this blog. :) Ergo, I wanted to know more about how internet affects people psychologically. I am sure there is something special about it but I don't really know anything about it regardless of myself working as a security administrator. Before becoming too hesitant to keep blogging and terminate my blog, I decided to research a little bit on something. I ordered The Psychology of The Internet. Wow...I had never seen this coming considering I disliked General Psych in college... Now, I hope this will help me get better prepared for unpleasant interaction over internet. So here's my say for today. I want world peace.Anyway, thanks for visiting my site as always and you have a fantabulous day with Internet!

It was cold and icy this morning.... I almost fell when I ran... Anyway, My friends, my parents and family know I am queer But nobody at work knows I am gay, and I'd like to keep it that way as people are prejudice and "gayness" is not as acceptable as I'd like it to be in Japan. I am going to make a biz trip to Sapporo next week. So is the director. He suggested going to the red-light area at night while we're there. of course, straight one... I told him I'd rather not. Now, if he keeps asking me that, I might as well come out even if they stop talking to me. And what kind of director would ask me to go to a whore house together? People are so nosy here in Japan. But it occurred to me I act straight alright at work. Thanks to metrosexuals. But I find myself too gay...

1.	When I put chapstick on constantly even during the meeting.
2.	When I use refreshing paper not to keep my face oily in the bathroom.
3.	When I use washlet and moan for pleasure a little bit.
4.	When I speak French.

It may not take too long until I am forced to come out. I don't wanna act straight by going to a whore house together. I wonder if I get so ignored after coming out... I am very curious about it though. :-) On the bright side, if I do come out, I might be able to wear something gayer. :-) I hope HR department would approve that. Oh well. Life goes on. You have a pretty Wednesday!

It's another week. A brand new week. yay! It was the coldest weekend ever in this winter in Tokyo. Saturday, I had a long tea time with a friend of mine and talked about IT stuff. I can't help it... I went to a book store after and picked up some books. I was going to read them, but ended up going to a gay dance club. I think I hadn't been to dancing and doing a lot of gay cliche for a long time. I couldn't live without it when I was a college student but I now can.... I had a great time though. Partying and socializing until 4 in the morning. Sunday, I didn't realize it was the first Sunday of the month. Going to church and shrine with my family. I totally forgot about that. I had a splitting headache at 9 and was very grumpy all day long..... The photo is one of those dogs at the gate of the shrine. These dogs are called "Komainu". By the by, I call one of not-so-nice users at work "Komainu" because she exactly looks like this.... of course, I say it when she is not present..... There are two dogs at each shrine. One with the open mouth. The other's mouth is closed. They are supposed to be half dog/ half lion and protect the shrine from evil spirits. But if you ask me, these dogs do look evil enough. The one with the mouth open seems to be bleeding. After all, I am not religious.... Anyway, it's Monday and I am going to be working as hell. I should probably sleep by now but so many things to do before welcoming Blue Monday. How was your weekend? I hope it was fantabulous. You have a great new week!

First of all, Michael from Lisbon. I read your e-mail but haven't replied yet but definitely will tomorrow. Sorry it's takinng long! Anyway, it's dead freezing here in Tokyo tonight. Very windy. 1 degree Celsius = 33.8 degrees Fahrenheit. I hear it's going to be chilly like this here in Tokyo over the weekend. Ironically, it's the last day of the winter according to the almanac. We have some traditional thingy going on today. Even though I had to work from FREAKNG 4 in the morning today, I got summoned by my parents and had to pay a little visit tonight... On this very last day of the winter, we throw roasted soybeans around the house. I am sure millions of other Japanese people here did that tonight. When throwing the beans, you are supposed to say "Ogre out! Happiness in!" to drive away evil spirits and you eat the number of beans which corresponds to your age. . I am not sure who came up with this tradition but I heard this ritual thingy started in the 13th century and we still do it after 8 centuries.... at least, I don't have to wear a traditional clothes for this particular event :) Speaking of the Ogre, when I was younger on this particular day, I remember one guy wearing a costume to be the ogre. Not much to wear. Just red speedos. He had a great bod. Very muscular That's the image of the ogre I have.. If the ogre was that hot, I'd love to keep him instead of driving him away like we've gotta. But I threw the beans to follow the tradition though... So it's going to be spring from tomorrow here in Tokyo even if it gets colder than usual... I guess I should say "Have a great last day of the winter!" Get ready! Spring will come shortly! Have a fantabulous Friday! ta-ta-

By the time, this was served, I was way drunk..... I couldn't take the brutal reality that we'd have to work tomorrow. :-) I am sober now. ... I think.
1. Lately, when we go out, all the single 30 year old people like me talk about "who's going to marry next" and "Who's going to be a loser". That's the usual topic that never goes away. And we are seriously worried.... That's why there are always adult beverages present when we talk about that.

2.	I used to be good at pretending to be a diligent worker when I was very bored. Where did that boring time go??? I haven't had a lunch break for a week...
3.	Have you ever barebacked? I haven’t. I heard it was the most intense feeling you could get while you are at it. But I don’t think I will ever know that…
4.	After I lived abroad, I always have this major fear to make noise when eating noodles. It’s perfectly normal to do so here but I hesitate to do it because of the idea of choking to death.…one time, I did slurp noodles the other day just like other Japanese. I choked a ot and a noodle came out of my nose... I need to be prettier.....
5.	Is it so wrong that I use Microsoft Office for Mac 2004 on my iBook? VBA (Visual Basic Application) is fantastic! I am not a Microsoft hater. See, I bought a kick-ass Windows server last week and it's fabulous.

Have a fantabulous Thursday/Friday. Or at least, try or pretned to have one :-)

so I've been babysitting this engineer from the headquarters. Apparently, he doesn't like it here at all. I am kinda sad that my home city is not interesting enough for him to explorer. He basically comes to work and goes back to his hotel and doesn't do anything outside. I invited him to the fancy dinner earlier this evening to enlighten him without soysauce coffee. Unfortunately, we had a mild earthquake. It wasn't serious but it would be surely scary for people who'd experience it for the first time in their lives. After that little episode, he immediately called the airlines and changed his flight from Saturday to tomorrow. The earthquake scared the crap out of him. Really? He is too straight to be a drama queen.... not a cute drama queen for sure. I'd hug him for his comfort. But I COULDN'T as he is not cute and criticizes every single task of mine. I actually should thank to the earthquake. I'd be delighted to take him to the airport tomorrow. Why did he come here by the way? I so do not know.... Anyway, the earthquake was just mild. (Agree, Ian?) and I am still working. The rain has finally stopped. What a peaceful night even if I have to work still... I feel fabulous because this non-cute straight engineer will be gone tomorrow. Too bad, I should have done one more trick on him though... You have a fantabulous Wednesday!