November 2005 Archives

Non-intelligent scribble

By Shigeki on November 30, 2005 9:28 PM | 11 Comments

I hope you guys don't have to work as much as I do. When you are having a busy day and work over time, you might have to sacrifice something that you usually do? That's so sad but it's true. What would you give up. I gave up working out once crazy projects launched simultaneiously. Well, to be honest, "sacrificing" could be exaggerating but close enough. Yesterday, I didn't even jerk off nor have ~~fu..~~ sex. Actually, I was alive without any sexual activities for two days in a row. As a result, I was super horny. I am certain every one of us has certain "needs". This makes me look like a sex addict with no brain. But here it goes... I was so grumpy due to "something" I constantly felt down there. I knew I did not want to jerk off in the bathroom at work even when I was horny as hell. I could still act civil whether you believe it or not. I had one long conference call in the morning with the headquarters. And thanks to one of the engineers who sounded really hot. Every word coming out of his mouth turned me on even though he was only talking about security systems.... Anyway, I knew I had a lot of work to do today but couldn't ditch the horniness. Ergo, I acted like I was having a bad cramp day and got out of there at 5. I made some new "friend" online while I was at cafe and got "relaxed" with him in this hotel room he was staying. However you think, I enjoyed and no regrets. Today's lesson. Don't sacrifice your sex for something less important. Otherwise, you will go nuts. I know I did. However, I feel so low right now.... This blog has become lame officially as of now... But, seriously, come on, don't act like a saint. We all need to fulfill our "needs". Happy HUMP day!

Sloppy Penmanship 3

By Shigeki on November 29, 2005 3:23 PM | 12 Comments

I added a link to Mr. Brian from Cowen, WV. I have been to Harrissonburg, WV before for some Mennonite reason. (-_-); However he says about himself, he is HOT! and intelligent! Yay! Anyway, I almost fell asleep during the meeting here at work and scribbled something not to fall asleep. It's not X rated so it's allowed @work? Happy Tuesday!!

Random thoughts

By Shigeki on November 28, 2005 8:48 PM | 7 Comments

There are ups and downs in every single one of our life. If the life is going steady and stable forever, that's not as interesting as it should be even if it looks great from another person's point of view. My life has been like a roller coaster. There were miserable "DOWNs", as well as heavenly "UPs". I found out today at work that my life for the next half year would be extremely challenging. On my way home, i was devastated at the fact it would go that way for 6 months. That seemed so long. Now, I have come to the place where I decided to consider it as one of the challenges. I don't practice Catholicism anymore and I don't think I still belive in the Bible. But this pharse is something I could relate to right now.

Let no temptation take hold on you, but such as is human. And God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that which you are able: but will make also with temptation issue, that you may be able to bear it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

You see, life is too short to be mortified for long time. It's not that I am going to die tomorrow. (Well, I might. who knows. If I do, oh well. :-)) I will try to enjoy this difficult phase of my life. I am looking forward to the outcome of this. On a different note, I watched the last week's episode of Lost. Misty eyes at the end.... How sissy of me. But I am glad it got better as I was kind of irritated for the last couple of episodes... I wish Anna Lucia could have killed herself... oh well. :-) Anyway, you have a fantabulous week! Ta-ta-.

Something Stupid

By Shigeki on November 27, 2005 7:43 PM | 6 Comments

Did you notice I've been clean for a week? No, I still smoke. But I've been clean of the word "fantabulous". But I am going to use it again :-) Anyway, at the age of 5, I wondered what would happen if I put one of the fingers in a power outlet. The result was obvious. At the of 12, I was asked to vacuum floor as my father had to go grocery shopping. I detached the vacuum's head part and vacuumed my weener. It was awesome!! .But the whole incident was observed by one of our neighbors as the window was widely open.... At the age of 15, I had sex with my high school buddy. During that, my mother came into my room.... At the age of 22, I had a mild stroke due to hard drugs but graduated as a magna cum laude two weeks later. At the age of 26, I made the same day trip to Amsterdam as I forgot something really important at my ex's parents'. It was absurd. Compared with those, what happened today wasn't that ridiculous. But I find it very lame. I went to this restaurant after work. Since it was an invitation from friends of mine who are picky on restaurants, I went back home and put on the best autumn jacket, this delicious pair of velour pants for the very first time, and cursed shoes. On my way back here, we walked to feel the fresh air. ...walked about 3 kilo meters. I got a bunch of blisters....I pretended to have a great time even though my shoes were killing my feet. I am so scared to wear 'em again. Why do I keep 'em still? Because I do something stupid... I haven't learnt anything... You have a fantabulous last week of November!

Tick, Tick, Tick

By Shigeki on November 26, 2005 11:59 PM | 6 Comments

I didn't want to use red or green as it is too typical. And my blog's domain "Tokiobleu" doesn't go with the typical scheme. So obviously, I went with blue. I had to build three additional mail servers (a.k.a. the device that users cannot live without...including myself.) It's gotta be a system admin's thing but mail is in my work domain for some odd reason.. Anyway, I had some time to kill when buliding them so that I played around with my blog a little bit. I am not sure if I like this but I will stick with it for a week to see whether I like it or not....Anyway, time flew by.... How can time fly by so slowly? Madonna?? IIt's Saturday and I couldn't come back home til midnight. I worked from 9a.m. Thankfully, I haven't gotten any single message from the headquarters in the United States due to Thanksgiving. I stronglly hope they eat as many turkeys as they want and don't come back to work forever. :-) But that's not gonna happen... huh... On a different note, my "friend" (who is not really a friend but he gets to be a friend when he wants to do what I wanna. :-) called me and suggested strongly if he could have phone sex with him.... He said he wanted to try that with me. As a matter of fact, I have done that before but during the whole sex, another myself floats from real me and observes the situation as if it is one of the lamest situations I could ever run into. I tend to start talking about things he wants me to say in hte most boring way as if I write chemistry lab report or something. It's a big turn off. really. Like diamonds, there is nothing better than real. :-) So, I decided not to go for what he suggested. Really. Please. :-) You have a fantastic weekend!

Invalid questions

By Shigeki on November 25, 2005 10:09 PM | 10 Comments

My father suggested me to go see a doctor at this particular clinic. The clinic for work related stress. I sneaked out of the office. As this was the first time, I had to go through all the lame counseling. The counselor was this beautiful pretty girl in the late 20s. My blood pressure would go a lot higher if I were straight. Thankfully, my blood pressure was so normal.... I had to go through 10 freaking page long questioniarre. On page 5, it was all about sex. this is how it went.

Question 30. How often do you masterbate?

I wrote down the real number as I didn't have to hide it.

Question 31. Do you get erection when you see an attractive woman?

huh? If I got one, I'd be in serious denial.

32. How far do you ejaculate?

okay, this isn't a questioniarre... this might be some data collecting for a big pervert... the session with the counselor was really long... 30 minutes... and expensive... But I am hoping I will know how stressful I am right now. Of course, I told this pretty lady that I was a homo when she said I might be sexually insecure or stressed as I didn't get hard. I told her I would get SO HARD if a gorgeous guy in tight speedos was kissing me. I think I offensed her as she looked like she just saw something she hadn't seen in her entire life... After some blood drawing, my right arm tells me I am a junkie....huh.... Anyway, I am off to drinking. (According to a doctor, that's not good) You have a splendid weekend!

A temporary remedy.

By Shigeki on November 24, 2005 10:14 PM | 9 Comments

To be honest, I've been little more stressed than I'd like it to be these days. It's primarily due to my work. I just got to know I wouldn't be able to take a day off by the mid of next month. I decided to quit my job in July next year at the latest. But that won't do any good for now. So I decided to get out of the office at 8 and summoned some friends to keep me company to get rid of this weird feeling I got from work. Karaoke time. :-) There are some Japanese divas that we, fags, go ga-ga- about. Some queers sing their songs for sure. They somehow misunderstand they would exactly look like those divas even if they don't look like them at all. I've never seen pretty singers with 5 o'clock shadow , you know? :-) Anyway, surprisingly, I don't sing any those gay cliche singers' songs at all. I think there is still a part of me I can act straight? hahaha. Not that I am pretending.... anyway, this photo is a remote control of the Karaoke machine. You can look up a title/ a singer/ top 100 popular songs. It's really easy to navigate. I sang some J-pop songs (primarily Johnny's even though i am so 30....) Seriously, I wish there were Karaoke nights just like everywhere else on this planet. Singing a song in front of people. We don't have that kind place that many here in Japan. It would be too embarrassing to sing, but I could do it when I get really drunk. I'd love to try that next time even if I get booed. Instead, we went into this Karaoke cubicle box thingy to sing songs... what's your remedy when you are extremely stressed? oh, I am so boozed right now. I am happy. :-) You have a so-wonderful evening/morning/afternoon! I am off to batting cages to blow off some more stress. Ta-ta-!

Thanksgiving Lunch??

By Shigeki on November 23, 2005 10:25 PM | 6 Comments

First, I added a link to Tim from Southampton, U.K. Yay for the second link to U.K. He seems to know a lot of things about Japan. He just returned from a nice trip to S'pore. When you make a trip from somewhere warm to somewhere freezing, you can easily get a cold.... oh no... I hope you will get better in no time, Tim! Anyway, It's a national holiday here in Japan. If I translate it directly, it's Labor Thanksgiving day. To appreciate the hard work you do, you get a day off. Okay, I don't have that as I had to work today... But my sister who is a college student obviously does. How's that possible?? :-( We don't do anything fancy like the people in the U.S. do on Thanksgiving Day. We don't get turkey or anything. It's just another holiday. :-) (By the way, I so love turkey. I wish we had that widely available here....) Anyway, I had a long nice lunch time at this hotel near my work with a friend of mine. It's funny that there aren't younger people like me (oops, I included myself...is it a sin?? :-() don't really have fancy Japanese food at fancy Japanese restaurants. Well, yeah, it's kinda expensive to have lunch at any hotel anyway... Ergo, my eyes didn't have to cruise guys much while I was at it. (Admit it. Some of you cruise even if you don't really notice yourselves doing that) The lunch we had was the autumn version still. I wonder if the winter ever comes this year. FYI, it's going to be 15 degrees Celsius = 59 degrees Fahrenheit for high, 8 degrees Celsius = 46.4 degrees Fahrenheit for low here in Tokyo. I think it's good as this is the first winter without a boyfriend in 9 years. Viva, warmer winter! You have a fantastic Thursday/Wednesday.

Gaining my religion

By Shigeki on November 22, 2005 8:30 PM | 9 Comments

It's been a year since I got this mobile phone. I usually change it to a new phone every year. Don't be surprised. That's not uncommon. I looked at the new lineups for this year's AU design project. But, none of them is good. I am going to stick with my current phone.

Anyway, speaking of which, we, Japanese, often say that many of us are not religious. Coming from a religious family, I think that USED TO BE TRUE. That's not true at all anymore. Many people are EXTREMELY religious these days. If you ride the train, you see many passengers worshipping their Gods. The religion is "Phonism" or something. Their Gods come in different styles. These admirers don't do anything except for looking at their God. Some worship the God while they walk. Don't be annoyed if the person in front of you walks so slowly, s/he is probably admiring her/his own God in the most loving way. What they do is they read meaningful messages from their friends via their God's spiritual communication. If you bump into someone on the street and s/he is in the middle of worshipping, you should not blame on her/him. You should be blamed. Don't disturb their sacred moment. They could've read a book or something during commuting, but admiring their Gods have to come first. However, I am not really religious as I get so irritated by typing the keypad to send a text message.... I'd rather use a PC. :-) Huh.. I am a natural born non-religious person. Happy Tuesday!
Okay, I was a little bit sarcastic on this post that virtually, more than 50 percent of people stare at his/her cellular phone whenever. So I talked in metaphor :-) The God = his/her cellular phone. :-)

Notes to myself

By Shigeki on November 21, 2005 10:10 PM | 10 Comments

1. When you order undies by web shopping, be aware that the guy in those undies on the page you are watching doesn't come together. Nor do I look like him all of the sudden after you buy them. It's not magic. Don't be in a hypnotic state. That's what they try to do with gorgeous guys on their ads. (I bought 5 pairs of new undies that aren't available here in Japan C-in2.....
2. You are not out at work even if you are out to most people you know outside of the office. Don't forget that. You'd be stared at with dirty looks, and your job performance would be evaluated poorly if you forgot that.
(A friend of mine called at work and I said "Oh, he is so hot!" but thankfully we talked in English when no one around me speaks English but still....)
3. Try not to use the word "Super" ("Chou" in Japanese) when you talk about things. You are not a college dude anymore. Be more intelligent even if you are not.
4. Don't wear a floral printed shirt at work even if people say I look good in it. You are already gay enough without it.
5. Finally, don't sleep in the hallway even if you are boozed. Try to make it to bed at least.
(I woke up in the hallway today.... it was deadly freezing this morning...)

Okay, I think potential boyfriends outhere wouldn't date me anymore after reading my confession.... huh. :-) You have a fantastic (is this allowed?) day/night!

Happiness in the devastating world

By Shigeki on November 20, 2005 11:04 AM | 12 Comments

One of the visitors to my site told me it was extremely bothering that I used "fabulous" and "fantabulous" frequently. I am sorry. I like doing that, and my English vocab is limited. I will try not to use it frequently for awhile..... On a different note, I found there was a website x-rated!! linked to my site. But I don't understand Greek at all...I have no idea... By the by, How on earth can you have abs like that? Anyway, It's a little cloudy now... I am here at the cafe and reading newspapers and scribbling. (it's my sickness I bring a laptop everywhere I go) There are so many depressing news out there. Then, I sometimes hear people say "This has got to be the worst time to be live in. pollution, fatal diseases, violence". I heard that on my way here today. Like a person whom you hate (let me rephrase that) don't like, it's easy to find some things you don't like. But the interesting part of all is that it's challenging for you to find some things you like about the person/ the thing you don't like. Some people may not like this present world. But this is the planet we live on. Too many issues around the globe. Some politicians are not aware that they could make the world better. That's the sad part. The happy part of all is that there are many technologies that made our lives easier. Well, you can rephrase it as there are technologies that made ourselves lazier. But I see a lot of things I truly appreciate that people in the past didn't have. Internet is one of them. This may be not the best world to live in. But I 'd like to think still it's a great world to live in. Try to locate what makes you happy and find what you can do to make our world better. please. :-) If you can't right now, please try to do that when you can. :-) Peace!

Wonderland (a.k.a. Isetan)

By Shigeki on November 19, 2005 9:52 PM | 7 Comments

~~Isn't smoking a cigarette after running 5 Kilometers = 3.1 miles great??? :-P~~ After running in the early morning, I took a looong quality breakfast time while the sun rose. It's another chilly beautiful day in Tokyo. I decided to run errands for myself before my friends came for lunch. I went to my favorite department store on this globe. Isetan in Shinjuku. It's like 15 mins walk from my place. The blessed thing about this dept. store is that they have way cuter clerks than any other dept. stores in addition to high quality fabulous products. Since it gets really really crowded there, I usually go shopping in the morning while some people are still asleep. I decided to pick up some fabulous dessert at this dept. store.
Jean-Paul Hévin. This is my favorite chocolate shop in this world at the moment. When they opened a store here at Isetan, I was so happy. The drawback about this store is since they have gotten way more popular after crazy advertising, you will usually have to wait for 15 mins to get in!!! That's crazy. I don't want that. So, I usually go in the morning when it's cold for people to get up still. :-) I can get in without waiting. I picked up "Mont Blanc", Marron Cake. Even though Jean-Paul Hévin is famous for Chocolate as the one he makes is considered "jewel", his marron cake is fabulous. I had a great tea time with my friends while enjoying the cake. If you happen to be in Paris, Tokyo, Hiroshima, Fukuoka, may I suggest stopping by this fabulous store? But if you are not a fan of chocolate, you don't have to. :-) I think I am gonna have to run 3 extra kilos though.... Fantabulous weekend!

I am weak

By Shigeki on November 18, 2005 10:04 PM | 4 Comments

Yay, it's DA weekend! I mean I don't have to work on Saturday and Sunday this week! It's been awhile since I didn't have to deal with work stuff on a weekend. I planned nice dinner at this Japanese restaurant with some friends. I felt fabulous so I put a nice pair of pants and a groovy shirt on. BUT two System Administrators didn't come in. Even though I am not an SA anymore, I had to do SA work today.... This morning, when I squat on my heel at work to adjust some equipment on PBX system (The phone system that has a bunch of phone lines), I ripped at my right knee part of the pants... Oh no.... My fabulous pants turned shit. Thankfully, I had spare pants in my work drawer. Things get broken so that's alright. Then, one of SAs did something really stupid. Like you won't drive a car without practice, will you? But this idiot did something he wasn't supposed to do without clearing it with me. Because senior SAs were not there, I had to fix the problem. It took me 8 fucking hours to bring that back online. I missed both lunch and dinner. I was so stressed since i had to do something else. I started this. The photo is not the lipstick (I am not THAT gay). Evil substances. I'd been clean for about 7 months. I'd been a good boy. But I started smoking today because I was really stressed. Yes, I am very weak. so weak. But it tastes great especially with coffee. I know smoking kills. yes, yes, yes. But I had to smoke these instead of killing the idiot. However, smoking helps me look a lot older because of a worse skin tone. I'll need to quit soon before it's too late. Well, not right now. :-) I don't feel guilty. I am not sorry. Anyway, I will definitely have a great weekend. So should you!

Special Day

By Shigeki on November 17, 2005 11:59 PM | 8 Comments

Boss: You told me you'd have to leave earlier at 4p.m. but can you stay longer?
Me: No can do! It's the SPECIAL DAY. An One time thing of the year!
Boss: What is it important you have to leave??
Me: Beaujolais Nouveau!!!
My boss didn't even say a word but got surprised how stupid my saying was... I don't care. Yeah. It does sound insane for this wine but it's true. Today is the special day. Release day of Beaujolais Nouveau. Beaujolais Nouveau is the young made wine produced in the region of Beaujolais, France. To be honest, they started doing this because the wine made in that region wasn't that high quality. But it's now a great deal all over the world. Japan is always crazy about this wine every year. people who don't regularly drink wine go crazy about this, too. It's very popular here. Though I don't particularly like this wine because it's like drinking juice. Too light. Too fresh. But that's the reason why it has become so popular even for people who don't really like wine, I think. Because I have to go to work early, I decided to leave earlier even though the president wanted me for the briefing at 5p.m. It doesn't matter. I waited for this and got approval from my boss one month ago. (Speaking of the president, she was here in Japan yesterday....Lady, look at the paper. Not cameras!!!!) I left at 4p.m. Why? Well, I wanted to drink a lot! When I drink wine and feel alright, I go for 2 bottles. Because I couldn't stay up late tonight, I and several other friends decided to celebrate the release day of this wine from 5p.m. at my place. 6 different Beaujolais wine. 12 bottles. Even though I don't like the taste (God, I sound snobby...), it's the festival! I am pretty much boozed right now. I am heavily boozed... The wine is not expensive at all. So even if you don't like wine, may I suggest Beaujolais Nouveau for dinner? I bumped into something sharp when I was more drunk and my right shin's got a bump. It doesn't hurt right now. I think it will..... Anyway, happy drinking!!!

39 more days!

By Shigeki on November 16, 2005 8:29 PM | 5 Comments

no, no, no, I am not going to count down every single day. I went to pick up my usual this morning at starbucks (and to see a fantabulous hottie whom I have a ~~crash~~ crush on) Their cups are the holiday edition from today!! Although the hot masculine guy I wanna jump on wasn't there, the next best barista who is moderately hot served my Americano. HIs americano tasted the second best. A guy in a half sleeved tight polo shirt in this time of the year is so unusual and nice to look at..... Okay, I am a pervert. And I got a call from a friend who recently visited Japan and now lives in Seattle, WA, U.S.A. He sounded EXTREMELY mad... He works at this hotel as a concierge and was personaly filing a complaint report for Japan. To summurize his complaint without fuckings he repeatedly said, he is bothered when he assists Japanese guests and he doesn't get any "Thank you". I just realized it might be something we don't usually do here.... When I ordered an americano, I said "A Tall americano, please." There was no thank you. Well, I might have said "domo" which is like "thanks!" But you don't usually have to say that here. (Thanks is more used in Osaka/Kyoto, I think) You wouldn't get considered as a rude person if you didn't say it. You can completely go mute when you buy something at a convenience store here in Japan. (I'd say "Osewasama" at a fancy store which is equivalent to saying what?? I am sorry for your trouble?) That's about a little difference I didn't notice. Do as the Romans do, right? So I am not defending those a friend of mine dealt with. They should've said "Thank you" with a little tip. But I have no idea where I should file this complaint I got personaly from him... All I can do for now is, Thank you for visiting my site as always! Have a pleasant day!

40 more days!

By Shigeki on November 15, 2005 8:22 PM | 13 Comments

Chris, Paul, THIS is how I sound in Japanese. I imported this from the greeting message I was asked to record for our Helpdesk at work. I sound the same. After all, I don't find it interesting... Anyway, this is this year's xmas tree in the Tokyo Bay Area. Beautiful but it was dead freezing... I am now home. Warm and comfy. I have this cursed song playing over and over in my head today. Whatever I do, wherever I go, this damn song is on air from the imaginary radio in my head. I even sang along while washing my hands. When I was in a serious intense meeting with ~~snobby expats~~ executives earlier today, the song in my head really played loudly, and I even lip-synched while I wasn't talking. When I was washing my mug cup, I even danced a little bit!! Please, STOP THIS! The song title is "Santa Baby" by Madonna. Is there any part of me that is not gay? In my head, I am wearing a slutty Santa outfit and dancing around the pole that you can usually see at a topless bar (Yeah, I've even been there to touch fake boobs.) while singing this song. This cursed song started playing in my head once I thought of what I would get for a secret santa thingy. I regularly visit this bulletin board for travelers, and one of people decided to be a coordinator for Secret Santa 2005. You will send something nice about $40 to this person you haven't met. The present can be anything. You get three hints for this person whom you are going to send the gift to. You'll get a Christmas gift in return. This bulletin board gets visitors from all over the world so this is really interesting. I am looking forward to my secret santa! Anyway, once I was thinking of what to get for this mysterious person based on the hints I got, another myself inside of me started singing Santa Baby..... Should I go see a psychiatrist? Boo doo bee doo! 40 more days! Have a fantastic day/night!

mumbling 4...

By Shigeki on November 14, 2005 2:35 PM | 17 Comments

Did I say it right??? Sorry. My nose is running.... As I'll get stuck here til midnight, I thought I'd do this earlier. You have a fantabulous day/night!

Evil Wedding

By Shigeki on November 13, 2005 11:04 PM | 13 Comments

No, it's not because it is the 13th today.... So I was invited to the wedding for this close friend of mine. In the morning, I made sure I wore the best suit and a new pair of shiny black sexy leather shoes that I picked up yesterday. I felt luxurious and fabulous. I am usually happy to go to the wedding even though I am not legally able to hold the wedding for myself. Free alcohol, and conversations with friends. But this time, things are little different. I was shaking as hell because I was nervous. The nervous part of this wedding was I had to be an organist for them. They nicely asked me if I could play the wedding march, and I agreeed even though I hate pipe organs. By the by, I miniored in Music at this Jesuit college, and I played the organ for some time. Because I haven't worked out for a while, my suit was a little tight... Another problem was I was not able to rehearse with them so they hadn't heard my music. I practiced it back at my parents' but it was a piano.... I went there 2 hours earlier so I was able to practice it at the last minute. Then, another problem.... my feet hurt like mother fudger while I was playing the bass part with them. My feet were bleeding because of the stupid killing shoes. I wanted to cry there.. Before the bride came in, I was playing Air by J.S. Bach. The usual mellow music. It was slow graceful music but I wanted to scream as this mother fudger was killing my feet.

Continue reading Evil Wedding.

Autumn Saturday

By Shigeki on November 12, 2005 10:28 PM | 6 Comments

I decided to have a cold. Since there isn't anything major today at work, I decided not to work. One of my staff needed my help. He is on his own. I told him what he was supposed to do with detailed instructions and he doesn't really listen to me. I still see one of the systems is down but I will fix the system if he couldn't complete it by tomorrow evening. But I need to enjoy my weekend. It's not my task anyway. Does that make me a bad person? Tokyo is crowded, busy, and big. Too many traffic jams. (Is a traffic jam countable noun?) People say there isnt' much greenery in Tokyo... I hear a lot of bad things from people who are not originally from Tokyo. Thankfully, I live in the area which is close to two major parks. (Shinjuku Gyoen and Meiji Jingu Gaien)The air is fresh even though it is in the middle of Tokyo. Since I am not going to date that austrian guy, I had brunch with a friend of mine near my house. After 3 glasses of Mimosa (Right, I cannot stop being gay!) at 11a.m., I felt so good. After the snobby ridiculously expensive lunch (though good), we walked around. As it's been warmer than usual, leaves hadn't turned yellow like they were supposed to. But now, I see leaves are turning yellow, and the air is cold. When I took an English literature class, there was one poem and the author used "brown leaves" as a way to imply dead bodies. Autumn can be a sad season but I love autumn. I really enjoyed a long walk with this straight friend even though he didn't even notice my new haircut. It would be perfect if I could have someone to cuddle with. Since I don't have that, and it's chillly (11 degC = 51.8 degF) right now, I will start working on knitting my scarf :-) I wish you a pleasant autumn Saturday!

Hesitant word

By Shigeki on November 11, 2005 9:51 PM | 30 Comments

I was at this Mormon Family when I was an exchange student in Portland, OR. I went to this Mennonite College in Kansas, U.S.A. for the first two years of college. Which means, I couldn't even say "OH MY GOD" I was told I had to say "OH MY GOSH". I wasn't really used to dirty words and cussing but I am now. :-) Earlier today at work, I had to call the headquarters. I had to talk with them about FAX system specifically. It would be easier for me to describe things in a written format. However, I had to talk to them about it as it was urgent. FYI, I feel really anxious when I have to say the word "Fax". I could go for facsimile but the first vowel is still "u" if I say it in a Japanese way. As a result, my pronounciation for FAX is so unnatrual. During the whole conversation, I had to take SUPER extra caution that I pronounced it right. By the way, the way we pronounce "Fax" here in Japan in Japanese is like "fux". If I pronounce it in a Japanese way, I go I think I need to know if I can FUX after the cluster node is migrated to the other... That's not good.... I am absolutely certain I did alright without pissing off the executives over there in the States but I don't like this word... Yes, English is always a foreign language for me forever. I can never get used to it.

By the by, each airport has a three letter abbereviation. New Tokyo International Airport = NRT, Kuala Lumpur = KUL, Newark = EWR. On Kyushu Island (it's the big island located in the western part of Japan), the largest city in that region is Fukuoka. The three letter code for that airport is FUK obviously... huh... You have a in~~-fucking-~~credible weekend!!!

So many metrosexuals

By Shigeki on November 10, 2005 11:08 PM | 16 Comments

There are way too many metrosexuals here in Tokyo. Which means things that seem to be so gay to do in other places might not be really gay to do here. (i.e. Trimming eyebrows) When I was browsing a local fashion magazine for men, there was a section about trimming eyebrows. I do it but I don't really spend too much time because I don't want them to look like his or his. But I realized if I change the way I trim them, I might look different and can do the fresh start for my 30s. I chose this template (Yeah, it's got templates and detailed instructions....) from that magazine. Now, I dont' wanna do it here in my office so I shall do it later. The scary part of all is wheather I can make them even. I can't fail. If I do, I will have to stay home for 2 weeks. Now, I am nervous. I think I will have to do this under appropriate supervision. A friend of mine is a hair stylist. So I guess I will have to let him do it and learn? If I think about all failures, my hand would be unsteady from the nervousness but I want to have a new "me" look. huh.... after all, I am gay..... It's not much I am high maintenance on doing things like this but I just wanna challenge something different. huh.... Anyway, I have to go back to work. You have a fantabulous Thursday.

Talking to humans.

By Shigeki on November 9, 2005 9:33 PM | 9 Comments

I've been dealing with work stuff all the time. The last time I talked to any friend of mine in person was like last Sunday? I e-mail them on a regular basis still. But that's about it. All the people I talk to right now are all at work. I mean I literally have no life outside of the office right now. I am sure this will not last forever so there is some hope ahead of me. I could keep working in the office except when I go to the bathroom. I don't even go out for lunch lately. I have this meal replacement thingy here in the office even though I am not on a diet. This isn't great. At 4p.m. I realized, I should get some fresh air. So I went outside to stretch my legs. I took a photo of the sunset. It was absolutely a beautiful day. I almost missed the opportunity to appreciate how beautiful it was today. On my way back to the office, three guys with backpacks approached me and asked me for the direction to get to Shinjuku Station. They asked me in English with a strong French accent. Wow, how sexy... I knew they were French native speakers but I didn't try my French speaking skills on them as I would make myself look like a fool if I did. It's really weird though. I get asked for directions a lot when I walk around the office. I am easy ~~lay~~ to ask to? huh.... It doesn't mean I hate being asked for directions but it keeps happening frequently. On the bright side, they wouldn't ask me if I didn't look like a Tokyoite, would they?:-) Yay, I look so Tokyo native. :-) This was the only time I talked to non-work people today... but it was good as I didn't have to use any technical terms.... what a relief.. You have a fantabulous Wednesday!

Cheapy

By Shigeki on November 8, 2005 8:18 PM | 8 Comments

Apparently, this is my right cuff. I bought this jacket a week ago at GAP. Regardless of the fashion queer friend's comment about me being too old to shopt at Gap, I picked this up. (It's interesting that the same kind is not available in the States... ) Because I thought it looked reasonably fabulous on a guy who is 30 years old. As I knew I would have to stay at work til midnight at least, I chose something to keep myself warm for the jacket. It was 24 degrees celsius = 75.2 degrees fahrenheit this afternoon here in Tokyo. But I hear it is going to be somewhere around 11 degrees celsius = 51.8 degrees fahrenheit tonight. So I have this warm jacket hung *blush* in my office. You know, it is going to be windy and chilly outside later tonight. I don't have anyone to cuddle with or hug on my way. So this jacket will do. I don't look fancy like the guy who's wearing an armani in Translation department on the 18th floor but I like this. Some people (especially, that fashion queer) tell me that a certain brand targets a certain age group and that considertaion should be included when I buy things. Well, I disagree. Some 30 year old guys look a lot older than I do as if I could ask them what kind of life they have been through. Some other 30 year old guys look a lot younger than I do as if they did everything what the skin care section on the Men's fashion magazine suggested. I just go with how reasonable I look and how reasonable it costs. That's all. If I think I look good in a Gap jacket, I do. :-P So yes, my total outfit today is rather cheap but the challenge is how I do not look cheap. Is that wrong? I kinda enjoy looking decent with cheap clothes. :-) Anyway, I've gotta get back to work. You have a fabulous Tuesday and don't work/study too hard like I am doing here! Ta-ta-!

Long way to go

By Shigeki on November 7, 2005 8:05 PM | 12 Comments

Correction: Thanks, Paul. I obviously can't spell "scarf". (T_T)I've been busy as usual. I sold my soul to the corporate devil long time ago. I finished delivering bad news to people who have to go by the end of this year. I tried to make it as less shocking as possible but it's bad news however you say it. I shouldn't have but I suggested them to call some of the job agencies I know of..... Anyway, let's just hope I won't get stabbed out of nowhere... Better yet, it's really not great to stay at this company anymore as there will be tons of work with less staff. On a different note, I had been wanting this gray nice ~~skirf~~ Scarf as the winter is on its way. But I couldn't find it anywhere. A nice cable stiched gray ~~skirf~~ Scarf with lamb wool. I haven't knitted for a very long time. The last time I knitted was like when I was 22 years old. 8 years ago (did I just say that?) I know I've been busy and I think I am stupid to make this decision but since I really want that skirf, I decided to knit myself. I wouldn't come up with this idea unless I started blogging this year. As some of blog friends knit brilliantly. Why not give it a try? I think this is so wrong as I can barely afford my time. I went to this handicrafts shop to pick up 5 balls of wool. (4000 yen!!! = U.S. $ 34.26 = 28.39 Euros!!!) Darn, it'd better be a damn nice ~~skirf~~ Scarf. Well, if I can do this, I can be a better husband. :-) ~~At this point, I have no intention to be in a realtionship.~~ um.. there is no legitimate reason to say so but I feel it's a nice skill to have. Alrighty, tonight, I will just knit 10 rows. Wish me luck on having this done by the end of this year! Happy Monday!

non-exciting Sunday

By Shigeki on November 6, 2005 10:11 PM | 4 Comments

It's the first Sunday of the month. Mass at church and Temple..... I don't hate it but I don't like family thingies.... Anyway, I changed into the medium-level fabulous outfit (a.k.a. a suit) and stared at the business card I got yesterday.... I didn't have courage to call him. So I went into the dining room and had breakfast while reading devastating articles. I washed dishes, and stared at the business card, again. I stared at it for awhile again and went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. While looking at the mirror, I was like "Hello, this is Shigeki. The guy who had pasta sauce on his face" ....It's dull but I always rehearse what i have to say on the first call with a cute guy. Anyway, I was nervous as hell when I dialed the number...Thankfully, the robot like woman's voice answered the phone... the usual voicemail prompt. My voice went an octave higher than usual while leaving the message... To cut to the chase, I had lunch with him. I got a lot of information about him including overwhelming pieces.... (1. Austrian (the one in Europe) 2. 33 years old. 3. Looking for a boyfriend. No fuck buddies. 4. doesn't have sex until he feels comfortable, 5. He recently got bashed on internet by potato queens.... ) I mean he seemed damn nice but I was overwhelmed by the fact he was only looking for a relationship. I had to admit I got distracted by the cute waiter who was servicing our table. I walked back home alone and thought if I really was not a marrying kind... Anyway, the new week has begun.. (I get to meet the Starbucks' guy tomorrow! Yay!) You have a fantabulous week!.

100% older.

By Shigeki on November 5, 2005 8:25 PM | 8 Comments

I went to work this morning to do stuff that I am supposed to complete by the end of this year. I got a text message from this queer friend if I was interested in going to "Gay night". When I was 20 years old which is obviously a million years ago, I almost went clubbing every night. But I didn't feel like it today. I said "No" to the text message and left work. God, I am less interested in going clubbing.... It's not necessarily a bad thing but I am not young and pretty any more. That's for sure. I went home and looked myself in a mirror. I didn't look fabulous so I changed into a paisley printed D&G shirt and a black Jakcet to feel fabulous for no specific reason. I had nothing planned. I walked around and grabbed late lunch pasta alone at this restaurant and went to 100% Design Tokyo . This year is the very first year that 100% Design is held in Tokyo. I accidentaly had an invitation that a friend of mine ditched. I felt a little more fabulous than I was at work. Surrounded by innovative designs and many queers (It's a design exhibition!!). I really liked one piece of funirture I saw there. While I was looking at the chair for awhile, I felt the intense gaze from the right. So I turned around a bit and located the origin of the gaze. The cute mixed race guy was DEFINITELY smiling at me. 10 meter away. Usually, I don't do anything about it but since I was wearing this "Let's go fabulous" outfit, I took courage and approached this guy and said "hello" in Japanese. He said hello back to me in English. I asked him why he was smiling at me. He pointed a finger at his corner of the mouth and said
"You have some tomato sauce" ......... I was at this most fabulous art exhibition with pasta sauce on my face ................ I thought I looked fabulous...... with the pasta sauce on me......

Continue reading 100% older..

happiness on a fudged day.

By Shigeki on November 4, 2005 10:58 PM | 8 Comments

So I tried to get a hold of the guy from yesterday but obviously, I couldn't as my cellular phone was blocked on his. This morning, I got many e-mails from people I am not familiar wtih. It turns out the guy exaggerated the whole thing while he talked to his friends. Basically, they told me I hurt him so badly and don't deserve him. Okay, that's impressive that they can tell me what to do and what not to do without hearing my side of the story. Anyway, I am too tired to deal with this thing so I just deleted them all and left for work. I started to get calls on my cell with an unidentified number and s/he hangs up after I just pick up... I have a feeling who that would be so I decided to block unidentified number after 10 calls. I didn't mean to end things this way but he obviously took my move in a different way. Oh well, I don't even bother to correct misunderstading or any other fudged things.... Anyway, it was not a pleasant morning but I got to know i had a shipping from Shimane, the west part of Japan. GaijnGirl from Shimane got me this sweet stuff from Okinawa as she went on a school trip earlier!! The name of the thing is called "Chinsuko" and it's very close to how to pronounce "weener". She is such a sweetheart to do this for me and it's the perfect moment Ito make my day much better. I have never been to Okinawa before but I hope I can some time. Thank you, GAIJINGIRL! I love ya! On a different note, since my date is cancelled tomorrow (I think it is. I haven't confirmed but can't), I think I will just go to work and do things as usual. The odd thing of all is I am not really sad at all. I am kind of relieved. I guess I am not a marrying kind... Anyway, thanks for stopping by and you have a fantabulous weekend!

brunch disturbed a little

By Shigeki on November 3, 2005 10:39 PM | 11 Comments

It's a national holiday here today. Culture day. We are supposed to spend some time to do something culture? I have no idea. :-) Anyway, I got up as usual and realized today was the day I don't have to work since.... I have no idea.... I mean I usually had to work on a holiday so I was too excited that i didn't have to. My idea of dating in Autumn would be drive around or walk around in the city where we can feel autumn. We went to this restaurant in the park. Nice brunch at the terrace with a cool breeze. The guy didn't seem happy at all even though the meal was delish. So I had to ask him as he doesn't really say what he feels inside, and the first thing he said was "Is your work more important than me?" Okay, I did not see that coming. I mean I thoguht I'd hear this kind of a dramatic line only from a daytime soap opera. does it have to be one way or the other? Anyway, to summurize, he doesn't like the idea of me working too much and wants to see me EVERY FUDGING DAY. That's overwhleming right there. It's been only a little over a month.... I told him that I wanted to move forward slowly if possible and my work was important but couldn't compare that with him. And he left before he finished his benedictine before the nice coffee and the dessert. I didn't really say wait up or anything. I let him go. I didn't need any drama in the middle of the fabulous brunch. I sipped a cup of coffee alone and saw people walking by. It was still a great day. Now, I think I need to call him.... huh... I am sure my phone number is already blocked on his cell by now but I shall... um... is this how it should go after a month? Anyway, you have a fabulous Thursday!

Delightful moment

By Shigeki on November 2, 2005 8:28 PM | 7 Comments

I've been working crazy. The most of my time is spent here at work. I went back home at 2 in the morning last night. It's likely I won't get out of here until God knows how long... It's really alright as long as I can still get paid. Some friends of mine go "Oh, poor Shigeki!" But not really. As work is the only thing in my life right now at the moment (as it may sound really really sad), I barely laugh, breathe, eat like a robot. oh, that's not really true but close enough. Ergo, the enjoyment I can have on a daily basis is very sacrificed for work including hot sex). However, I have gotten this little delightful moment even in a busy life. I usually pick up an americano at the starbucks before I go to work. The new guy has started working there. I don't know what it is but the way he talks is so pleasant and masculine. I am sure he is a native trun-born Tokyoite by hearing how he talks. He is not a super good looking kind of a guy but still... Automatically, an americano he fixes tastes a lot better than the one which the grumpy lady, who used to fix mine perviously, makes. He seems to be at my age and is shorter but cute. I wanna lick him. Okay, this is like a high school talk...I know.... But ever since he's started working in the morning this week, I've been going to the starbucks twice a day at least...I know I cannot do much about him...But he does indeed make my day more delightful.... The smell of coffee and him.... oh, do I sound pathetic? I have a day off tomorrow as it's a national holiday. I will date a guy I've been dating. (I am going to his place for the first time. Yay! ~~The last time doesn't really count as I was very unconcious...~~) but other than that, nothing special. You have a truly delightful day!

Stay sharp

By Shigeki on November 1, 2005 11:21 PM | 4 Comments

This is a calculator at work. I mean I have a different scientific calculator for things I do for work. This calculator cannot cover my tasks. I bought this calculator two weeks ago. If you take a closer look at it, you know what makes this special. If you press a specific button, the mental mathematics drill starts. As you can see, it will show you an easy math problem, and you are supposed to solve 100 problems. You type the answer as fast as you can and finish 100 problems. It only takes 2-3 minutes. That's it. According to Professor Kawashima at Tohoku University, this drill helps you be sharp. After the age of 25, your brain cells will respond slowly and some people struggle from dimentia. You tend to forget things easily, and you take much more time to solve something you used to solve quicker. That's right. The brain ages as well. However, just like the rest of our body, the brain can be trained to stay younger, too. There are best seller books to train your brain as well. So this is a calculator using the same concept. The efficient way to keep your brain sharp is to work on this thing as the first thing in the morning when you get up. I do 100 problems on the calculator when I get up and I do another 100 problems at work. I've been doing this just for two weeks. But guess what! I think I can notice the difference. It's really important to keep my skin young but I need to be sharp, too! If you see me punching the calculator in the morning at work like a crazy person, that's me. :-) I need to keep myself sharp to win the debate with this ~~stupid~~ Eastern European. :-) MATH ROCKS! Happy Tuesday!

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