Today, in a nutshell, I "accidentally" found out that some girls at work were talking about myself being homo by saying "He is so gay". Isn't it awesome to be a system administrator some times?
Anyway, to give you some background, this is Japan. The idea of homosexuals is here and present. There are some "out" people on TV shows that you can see every day. But at the same time, it's so ignored and it's as if people do not wanna talk about it. Usually, the idea of it is not treated nicely. Some people get disgusted and say "unnatural". People automatically assume you should get married at some point in your life. But it's quite different from what you can see in the American/European countries. Because it's not stronglly recognized (but it's ignored), there is no supporting law for gay people but we are not prohibited, either :) It's weird.
Because of that, even though I am almost out to my friends and family, I am not out at work because I do not need any unncessary interferance. But I am not in the closet, either. I don't cover up with a fake girlfriend story or anything. When they ask me about my date or whatever, I would just say "this person" or "the person I am seeing" usually because I don't like telling a lie. However, it's none of their business. Recently, I have been hanging out with close co-workers after work for drinking because I like it. I guess that gave them a clue. I am not freaked out about them finding out that I am gay. I am very sad that the person in the same department I thoguht who was friendly to me and understanding talked about me behind my back with a disgusted tone. It's totally unfortunate but I believe it's a natural reaction, I would say. Yes, I was very sad when I found out about this.
I e-mailed about this to my close homo friends and they have been very supportive. One of the best friends was like "I hate those majority people who judge some things they cannot understand. You should bring them to me and let me yell at them". That's very sweet of him. But I won't do that. :) I was thinking what I should do about this. Then, it hit me. I do my work great (because I got a great incentive this year so they are happy with what I do). Me being homo shouldn't be associated with what I do at work. If they are disgusted by the idea of me being gay, that's their problem. I don't talk about sexy hunky guys I dream about to them. I was deabating earlier whether I should come out to them but given the fact that people do not like the idea of gay in general, I shouldn't create new problems. If they ask me whether I am gay, I might as well say "Well, it's none of your business and I would like to withhold that information" even though it totally means I am homo. Luckily, I work for this American company which employs "Zero means zero" policy that any harassement is strictly prohibited and I am supposed to be protected by that policy even though Japan is not really mature to the idea of gay.
Sorry I kept mumbling but I should say I realized that I am here in Tokyo, Japan even though everything seems to be so accepting and advanced. This is the very behind part. I am not an activist or anything but I thought this was very unfortunate. However, I don't feel uncomfortable extremely for some reason. The answer to this whole thing is to come up with the best resolution that you can think of by yourself. Because this is about you. Not others. So it's the best idea in my pesonal opinion to feel comfortable with how I deal with them and how I am exposed to this unfair corporate world :) yes, this could be quite different from what you are used to in your country but I believe this is the best way for me to deal with this thing :) Anyway, sorry that I didn't write this very well but I failed English 101 in college so you will have to excuse me. I wish you a fantastic weekend! Be good!
It's been more than 3 months since the major earthquake hit the eastern part of Japan including Tokyo. The nuclear power plant situation is still unstable and critical. The government is a fiasco. So much worse than the nuclear power plant if I may say. We are short of electricity so we constantly save electricity. Our lifestyle has definitely changed since the earthquake. You can actually tell even if you are visiting here. However, we are not devstated and trying to restore things. But I guess I will post some earthquake related things later but don't wanna completely focus on earthquakes though.
I haven't blogged in a while and not on a regular basis. I cannot say I am busy because I was busier when I blogged almost everyday 6 years ago. So what happened? I am not sure. I guess many bloggers come to the point where they slow down or stop blogging. I got there. But at the same time, I have run into other people I have met through this blog. Also, I met a "professional blogger" last week and showed him around here in Tokyo and realized that blogging is still one of the way to deliver/share information over the Internet and it can be a great tool to meet someone you wouldn't meet with other methods. So I came back here to post a "blah-ing" meaningless entry today. I am not sure if I can continue to blog like 6 years ago but I will see how it goes. I guess what I am hoping I would get from this blog is another new door to communicate with new people and get to know them. Also, at the same time, I would like to focus on good things about Tokyo even though a lot of tourists have decided not to come here due to radiation fears and all. So I guess I can provide real Tokyo information from my own point of view. Anyway, I should go to bed and hope there will be some posts in the very near future here :) I wish you a wonderful fresh week!
I just got back from the mass with my family. I thanked those engineers and people who are working so hard to resolve problems on nuclear power plants even though many of us only fear about radiation and ourselves. I wish their success and health. Yes, nuclear staffers are working hard even by sacrificing themselves. So why can I be so afraid of what might/might not happen? Power plants incidents are very horrifying but they are not fatal yet and engineers and Yes, radiation levels rose to 20 times more than the usual level even here in Tokyo. But it's not terminal.
Many people outside of Japan send good thoughts and prayers and I really appreciate them. At the same time, many people say "I am glad I am not in Japan". Yes, these are awful and the worst things I have ever experienced in my life. Sometimes, it's scary to see what is happening.
However, there are good things coming out of these incidents. People are helping each other. Without being told, we are voluntarily working together to save electricity. Our offices and stores are very dark but it's okay if this is a way to save electricity. Japanese people are very good at doing things together. (Despite some thieves stealing things from empty stores.) Sure you can call me an ethnocentrist but I have never been proud of being Japanese like this. Many public facilities are accepting people who evacuated from the epicenter. People in shelter are cooking things together. Food is scarce there right now but boys are helping seniors and give up their food to give it to those who need it more. I only helped some tourists trying to figure out how they can get to the airport to get out of Japan. But at least, I was able to contribute a little bit. We do these things naturally without being told to. And I really like what we have in our DNAs for these behaviors :)
I had a plan to go to Portland, Oregon this weekend but I cancelled it because I don't wanna worry sick and get frustrated with limited information I could get on the other side of Pacific Ocean. I'd rather go through this with my family and friends and help those who need help. However, I am calm and hopeful for the nuclear power plants' incidents after watching this educational program explaining what is going on in Fukushima.
I know this is the worst time but at the same time, I am really happy to see how helpful we are to each other... I hope our mentality stays this way in spite of what might happen in the future.
I didn't do well in Englsih 101 but I hope I was able to get my message across. I wish you health and a very happy day :) Sending good thoughts from Tokyo, Japan
Recent Comments